Often times, our children share our values (or “make decisions the way we would”). More often than not, however, they do not. As parents, we do our best to create strong foundations to edify our children, not by using mere words but through our actions. In doing so, we ambition that our children would develop a personality in which character traits, such as integrity, nobility, generosity and respect would prevail.
And just as we hope that those traits stay with them, we must also respect (and this is a great deal to me), that our children are individuals. When they reach a certain age, we have to respect our children’s decisions, even if they differ from our own.
Our children come from us but are not ours to control. They do not belong to us nor do they have to think the same way we do. I find this difficult to accept.
The generation gap must also be taken into account. Although many of the values my mother instilled in me are deeply rooted, in many aspects, I neither think nor act like she does. Those who have met my mother know that she is demure, proper and reserved; while I am the complete opposite. In turn, my mother does not think, nor does she act like her mother or grandmother did in certain situations. While some things from our previous generations remain, we are not traced in the image and likeness of our parents or those who raised us.
Generations, for better or for worse, evolve.
The crux of the matter is learning to accept our children are individuals. We can offer advice, when we think it is needed, with love, and hope they would listen and make wise decisions. But if they don’t, we have no choice but to let life take its course. Inevitably, our children will have to make their own mistakes, a necessary evil in the quest of ultimate growth.
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